As long as  the butterfly persists in the company of caterpillars, it will feel like a freak. -Monster

Listen to Never Alone 

by One Chill #kpop



귀하 또는 지인들 중 자살 경향으로 어려움을 겪고 계신다면

 자살예방센터 핫라인으로 지금 전화하십시오.

If you, or someone you know, is str​uggling with suicidal intentions, please call a suicide hotline today. If you are in immediate danger of self-harm, please call the emergency number for your country and ask for "emergency psychiatric services". (911, 999, 119, etc.)












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"People will tell a depressed person all sorts of things to make them feel better. The problem is, before we can drink the water, or go out in nature, listen to uplifting music, get exercise, or socialize; first we have to step back from the ledge. Before a caterpillar can become a butterfly, first it has to stop being a caterpillar. If you live a low vibration life, you're a caterpillar. Before you can live a high vibe life, you have to stop living against your nature and desires. 

How do you get from feeling like you can't live one more minute like this, to living in your purpose and passion? You can't. Where can you get to? Can you get from self-hatred to self-annoyed? Can you get from depressed to melancholy? The more you practice it, the better you will get at moving your mood up the emotional scale.

Can you get from seething anger to forgiving? No; but you can get from anger to irritated. You can get from irritated to annoyed, and annoyed to bothered, and bothered to unbothered, and from unbothered to compassionate, to understanding, to empathetic, to caring, to forgiveness. It's all a process n matter where you are. Can you go from a suicidal or self harm vibration to happy? No way! You can get from there to sleep, and as you are waking up, whisper or sing to yourself, any song or mantra that is positive. When you wake up, get out of bed immediately, before the emotion of the day can hit you. I don't care if you have to roll out or throw yourself out, just gtfo of bed immediately. Drink room temp water or herbal tea first thing. Now you can do whatever the next best self care thing you think you might be capable of, then on to the next, until you can move on to the activities and thoughts thate will save your life. First, get up off the floor. You can do it.

Written by (Monster) Kristen Brown 7/31/2022 

Monster's Goo Go-Bag

Before a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, first it reduces to goo. Yep; freakin' goo. Yuck, eh? well, before we can become what we are meant to be, we have to stop being what we are. Before you try to go outside, stick your toe out from under the blanket and move the curtain enough to get daylight into your eyeballs. Woo hoo! Tomorrow we will move on to sitting up and opening the whole curtain. Baby steps.

Keep half filled bottles of water all around your environment; such as in front of the toilet where you will see it, by your bed, along paths frequently walked through the house.

Have a line or 2 of an uplifting song on hand that is easy to get stuck in your head. Sing or whisper it until you get louder and louder each day.

The three songs/mantras I use most:

It's the Best Day Ever (Spongebob)

Everything is always working out for me (Abraham Hicks)

Om ami deva hrhi (Hindu mantra)

Good Life (One Republic)

....and this...

"up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all done in the sun,; wandering free, wish I could be, part of that world." (The Little Mermaid - Disney) So even though that line seems a bit low vibe, like lacking a desired life, it's actually perfect for getting to the next emotion up from a low vibe. Singing releases chemicals in the brain that will facilitate getting to the next step. You could sing, "She Fucking Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd and still improve your mood enough to get to anything resembling self-care.